Chapter 19: Luna

“It may be too soon to tell, but it appears that your father will not be able to live on his own for a while, at least not until he gets comfortable with his new immobility. We suggest you either place him in some sort of assisted living—“

“That won’t be necessary,” I cut off the nurse who’d pulled me out in the hallway to give me an update on my father. I couldn’t just let him alone after we’d just made up. “Of course I’ll take time off to take care of him.” I’ve clearly just lost my mind. I know I won’t be able to stay on top of things at NASA and Gooding’s project while trying to maintain the care of a crippled, cranky man who I’ve just made peace with.

I looked in as my father slept, watching his chest rise and fall, rise and fall. We may not have had the best of times, but something seemed to be different in him. There was a hint of sincerity and a ting of something warm that hadn’t ever been there before, affection or something like that. I’d never let anyone in my life have this kind of an effect on me. It was like with those simple words, somehow I’d finally broken down the glass shield I’d put around myself. Of course people who truly wanted to—i.e. Tera—could see the shield. That’s why she’d been talking to my dad, asking all about my past. Bitch. If that’s how she wants to play, she can just leave. There’s a reason for the shield I’ve protected myself with. And just because my father had finally made a break through didn’t mean that I was going to let it down. I still have to protect myself.

“Star.”

I turned to find myself struck, once again, by a familiar gaze. Captivating was an understatement. Her eyes were unlike any others and they immediately began to draw me closer, mentally and physically. It was a sort of gravity always pulling on me and I couldn’t ever seem to break it. I worked so hard to defy gravity for so long and I couldn’t keep this woman, someone with no special gravity powers, keep pulling me back.

Damnit. Focus, Luna. Don’t you just let her walk back in to your life like this. She left for a reason. She betrayed you, your one close friend in life. The one person who you honestly believed would’ve dropped everything for you, left. Gone.

“Save it, Tera.”

“Star, you know I meant no harm.” She began to plead with me. It’s not like Tera to whine, so I figured she’d probably put a bit of thought into coming back in. She’s seen me infuriated before and she knew better than to mess with me after an explosion like I’d just had. She tenderly reached out for my upper arm, grasping at it, barely grazing me as I almost simultaneously pulled away. I was smarter than her. I knew her tactics. The tender touches weren’t going to work on me like they used to. She’d been integral in my life before and just as I’d began to finish the mending, here she’s come again.

“I have bigger things to worry about right now. I can’t be worrying about you.”

“Yeah, Star? Like what? It’s not just your father you’re thinking about. I know it.”

“Not now, Tera.”

“Then when, Star? You’re so good at pushing things away and pulling away. You know?”

Wish you knew, Tera. Wish you knew how ‘easy’ it is for me to continually have to pull myself away from of the things I really want to do. I only get sarcastic when I’m really shaken. And I never ever say these things out loud; it’s pointless to say what you think when all of your life people ignored what you said in the first place.

I turned to leave. I had to get out.

“Star? Star, wait a sec! Where are you going?”

My heart began to swell as I walked out on her, on my father. She knew I heard her, but I couldn’t stop. I needed to catch some fresh air.

As the doors slid open and I stepped outside, the moon immediately acted like a spotlight in an interrogation cell. I’d been in this situation many times before, under the night sky. But something was different tonight. My role had gone from victim to criminal. I was the one pulling the moves now, walking away from those who were—for a change—showing me they needed me.

What the hell are you doing, Luna? You have to focus. Stop thinking about Alex, Tera, and your dad. Yeah, all that is important, but realistically, the man in the moon is the only person who’s ever been a constant in your life. Get it together and snap out of it.

I looked up, staring right back at the big white ball that shone down directly on me. I’ll make it to you. I promise you that and you can hold me to it.

Just then my pager went off. Some number I didn’t recognize.

Guess that’s a sign I’ve had enough fresh air.

I didn’t want to use my phone, I was weird about strange numbers accessing my

Making my way back inside, I moved slowly to the front desk. “Can I borrow your phone?”

“Sure, darlin’. Just make sure’n dial ‘9’ before your enter the num’er.”

It took a second to finally connect, and it rang 3 times before someone answered.

“I know, Luna.”

I was flabbergasted. My mind began to sift through its file cabinet. What could this person possibly know? I’m calling from a neutral phone in a hospital. How did they know it was me? Area code give it away, maybe? But before I could even think of a way to respond, they’d hung up.

“They sure didn’ seem to need anythin’ too ‘portant, did they Miss? Awful short call,” the receptionist said, trying to make small talk.

I didn’t even know what to think. At that moment, my mind just couldn’t focus. “Yeah….yeah I guess.”