Chapter 3

I walked into my office feeling a little disorientated and saw Alex slowly sneaking back around from behind my desk. I paid it little attention as my thoughts drifted back to my conversation with Director Gooding. It took me a second to realize that Alex was staring at me, waiting for me to say something.

“Sorry about that,” I said. “You were saying?”

“It can wait – I can tell you have a lot on your…”

He kept talking, but I couldn’t focus on the words. I couldn’t focus on anything, actually. I tried to make sense of my conversation with Director Gooding, but my mind was like a tangled mess of strings, each thin strand its own separate and incomplete line of thought. Besides, I didn’t want to think about that now. I needed coffee.

“…but I’m rambling. My point is, if you need anything, if you ever feel that you’re trying to do too much and you need help, please let me know. It doesn’t matter what you need help with, even if you think I wouldn’t be interested. I’m here,” Alex finished. He looked me in the eyes meaningfully and I carelessly nodded my consent. I would not be asking for his help, nor would I need it, though I must admit the offer was well-intentioned.

“I hate to cut our conversation short,” I told Alex abruptly, “but I have some errands to run before the company meeting starts.” I got up with some papers in my hands and made my way to the door.

As I left the office Alex sent me off with one of his characteristic salutes, a gesture that had endeared him to me from the first time we met. I don’t know what I found so attractive about the movement. Perhaps I liked the confidence it demonstrated. Alex always seemed so sure of himself, so poised. The first time we met was the day he entered my office to introduce himself as “the one who will be encroaching on your sacred space,” he called it.

“Hello,” I had replied to the newcomer. “I take it you’re my new office-mate?”

“The one and only. I hope you’re not disappointed,” Alex had said. He was quite the flirt, and I can’t say I had a problem with that. Alex was, after all, pretty attractive, but I especially liked the way he carried himself. He walked and spoke like someone who knew what he wanted and how he was going to get it. I liked it because I could relate to these qualities.

Growing up, I was told that I had a “strong personality” and had to be careful so I didn’t intimidate and consequentially alienate potential friends and connections. As a developing adolescent I didn’t understand what my family meant by “strong personality,” but I came to understand the phrase as I grew older. When I have something to say, I say it. And I have a lot of opinions, strong opinions. I try to live my life without a lot of reservations and I blend into the background only when necessary, like it is on occasion when I must keep my secret project from being discovered. I had been instantly attracted to Alex because he emitted the confidence I saw in myself. Until that moment, I had refrained from entering into anything other than a professional relationship with Alex, but there was no denying that we had potential. I resolved to act on my attraction to Alex when I returned to our office after the company meeting.

All of this ran through my head as I walked down the hall to the small room that served as the company kitchen and break room. I poured myself a fresh mug of coffee because I knew the smell of it would ease my nerves and sat down to drink it in the break room, where I knew I wouldn’t be disturbed. It was 12:45 and most of my coworkers had already left for lunch and wouldn’t be back until the 2:00 meeting. I just wanted some time with my thoughts and, more importantly, my calculations

As I sat and tried to think about my calculations, my thoughts kept drifting back to my conversation with Director Gooding. As one of the highest ranking people who worked on the ‘moon landing,’ I was the first person Director Gooding came to when there were problems with it. After he pulled me out of my office, the first words out of his mouth were “We’ve got a problem, Luna.” Immediately my stomach started to churn. Every time Director Gooding used those words I couldn’t help but feel like a child being scolded by a parent. No matter what I did, or how well I did it, I never felt like it was up to his standards. So when I heard these words, my first thought was, What stupid thing have I done to mess up now? Finding what little courage I had, I asked “What’s the matter Sir?”

“It’s with the moon landing. People have started to talk already. They wonder if it’s real or not. They want to start an investigation on what we did on the moon landing and just what we really do here. I don’t have to tell you this could turn into a problematic situation if we are found out.

“People are already questioning it, Sir? But we just completed the moon landing two years ago.”

“People are much more critical of what the government does these days. I’ve brought this to your attention because we need to stifle these rumors before an investigation is launched. Talk this over with Alex and the two of you should be able to figure out a way to stop the rumors. Make sure you figure it out quickly though. We don’t need people snooping around here.

“Yes, Sir. Of course.”

Pulling myself back from my thoughts, I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was already 1:55. Time to get myself ready and go to the monthly office meeting. Great, an hour of boring talk about spending and policy changes. At least I’ll have something interesting to think about this time.