Chapter 30

Part I: Alex

            It was around two in the morning when the shiny new pager Karimov had given me went off. I stumbled around the room in search of the ringing, and eventually found it in the back pocket of the pair of slacks I’d taken off before bed. The number was a familiar one. Because I was Supervisor Buchkiev, the number had paged me at least ten times a day during the process of the rocket building. I turned my pager off, placed it on my nightstand, and crawled back underneath my covers. I was so exhausted, and I didn’t have the energy necessary to have a phone conversation with Karimov. I’ll call him first thing in the morning. He can’t want anything that important. He told me I could have a few hours off. I’ll be back at headquarters soon enough. I reached over to check the time, and my clock told me I only had three and half more hours to sleep before heading back to my office. The rocket had launched almost six hours ago now. In the past two days, I’d only had about five hours of sleep, so I’d asked Karimov for permission to go back to my apartment and rest. I wasn’t one who could function well without sleep. My entire construction crew would be on their toes until our rocket landed safely on the moon though, even if that meant going days without any sleep. With the thought of my tense crew back at headquarters, my whole body froze, and Karimov’s voice filled my ears. As I was exiting his office he stopped me and said, “Buchkiev, one last thing. Make sure I can contact you if I need to while you are gone. And remember, do not stay gone long. Most of the crew hasn’t slept at all in the past seventy-two hours, but I am willing to give you a few hours off. Be back at headquarters by six am tomorrow. If something goes wrong, I will contact you.” If. Something. Goes. Wrong. Oh no. Oh God. No. No. What has happened? What could have happened? He said he’d only page me if something went wrong. No. The rocket is in the air; it’s almost to the moon, what could possibly be wrong? Everything has to be okay. This is MY chance. This is something Kisa could never have done. Everything was fine when I left. Everything had gone so smoothly in the beginning. Nothing can be wrong. I’m just freaking out. I need to calm down. My thoughts were running wild, my stomach was churning, and my body felt numb. I had to call. I couldn’t wait until morning. I sat up, took a deep breath, and crossed the dark room to where the phone hung on the wall. As I dialed each number, my stomach became more and more sick. What if something really is wrong?

Karimov picked up on the fist ring. “Buchkiev, what has taken you so long to call me? I paged you at least twenty minutes ago. There has been an accident. Report to headquarters immediately.” Before I could say anything, the line went dead. The silence in my apartment was deafening. Something had gone wrong. My mind was blank. I had no idea what was waiting for me at headquarters. After only a moment’s hesitation, I changed clothes, grabbed my car keys from the counter, and was out the door.

I don’t know what I expected to find when I walked into headquarters, but I hadn’t expected this. People were running around like maniacs. The enormous television in the center of the room, which showed the location of the rocket, was now a black screen. Two of my crewmembers were crying uncontrollably in each other’s arms. I spotted Karimov, and he pointed to my office. My feet carried me forward; terrified of the news I was about to hear.

“Buchkiev, the rocket… the rocket is gone. It blew up.”

Karimov was staring at me, but I couldn’t look him in the eyes. This can’t have happened. No, no, no, no, no. No.

“Buchkiev, did you hear me? The rocket blew up. You know what this means, don’t you? This is your fault. YOU gave us those plans. YOU are responsible for the deaths of our brave astronauts. You told us these plans were flawless. You supervised the building of the rocket, and never once questioned your plans. You have failed us. You have failed Russia.”

I didn’t… I never… Not my fault. Can’t help it. Not me. Failed. Again. Not really my plans. Luna’s plans. Not my fault. People dead. Country failed. My fault?

I could think of no response to what Karimov had just said to me. I brought my eyes to meet his, but immediately dropped them again. I couldn’t stand the intimidating way he was looking at me.

“Buchkiev, are you listening to me? You know what we have to do with you now.”

I still couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breath.

People dead. My fault. Country embarrassed. My fault. Incomplete plans. My fault. Everything, my fault. No. No, no, no.

I couldn’t think clearly anymore, and I slowly began to lose control of my body. My pulse started to race, my vision started to blur, and the sounds of hysteria from outside my office started to fade to a quiet hush. I was unaware that my knees had given out until my head hit the ground.

…

I was immediately confused when I woke up.  Bright white lights blinded my eyes, and stale air filled my lungs. Where am I? I tried to sit up, but thick leather belts that were pinning me to a gurney thwarted my effort. I started to panic. Where am I? Why am I here? I should be on my way to headquarters! Karimov is going to be so angry if I am late!

“Where am I?” I yelled.

What’s going on?? I have to get to work. I hope everything is going okay. If I don’t get there soon, Karimov will freak out.

“Why am I here? Where am I? Hello? Why am I strapped to a gurney??”

“Mr. Buchkiev, I am not going to explain this to you again. You are crazy, you are here because you are crazy, and you are strapped to a gurney because you are crazy.”

“Who the hell are you and why do you keep calling me crazy?”

“I am your nurse, Alex. My name is Elena. I have been your morning nurse for years. I am calling you crazy because you are crazy. Please be quiet and I’ll bring you your morning medication soon. You’re going to wake the other residents.”

“Nurse? Years? What are you talking about? I’m not crazy. Who are you to call me crazy? Why am I here?”

“Be quiet, Alex. Yes, I am your nurse. Yes, you have been here for years. You are here because you made up some story about Russia building a rocket, which exploded, killing four men. No such rocket ever existed, and no men died. You used to work for the government as a photographer until you went crazy. Now, please, be quiet and go back to sleep.”

I laid my head back on the pillow, closed my eyes, and hoped I’d wake up from this nightmare soon.

Part II: Luna

“Star, are you ever going to get up? It’s almost noon! You’ve slept the day away. I made you lunch. Come, have something to eat.” Tera stood in the doorway of our bedroom looking at me with a glint in her eye.

“Tera bear?” I called from underneath the covers.

“Who else? And don’t you mean good afternoon, Star?” Tera mocked as she walked off, back towards the kitchen. I climbed out of bed and followed the alluring scent of homemade bread. When Tera wanted to, she could make amazing meals.

“I think I’ve developed a habit of working on equations until three in the morning.” I said to Tera as I walked into the kitchen.

I’d stayed up late last night working on new plans for NASA for no other reason than because I wanted to.

“I think you have too. That’s okay though. At least now you’re doing it for enjoyment, and not because you’re racing Russia to the moon.”

“That’s true. I really love what I do. And I love that you support me the way you do. Thank you for lunch, by the way. It smells delicious.” I pecked Tera on the cheek, and grabbed two glasses from the cabinet. As we ate, I got lost in thought. Forgiving my father and Tera was the best decision I had ever made. My father was finally proving to not only be the man I never thought he could be, but to be the best father a girl could ask for. His new wife, Cindy, was the mother I’d never had. She even understands my sarcastic humor. Just a year ago, my life had been empty of love and family, but now I have everything I used to spend my days wishing for. I have Tera, who’s not just my best friend, but who’s also everything I will ever want or need. I’d be lost without her. My father and Cindy are the parents I wish I’d had as a child. My job at NASA is the job I used to dream about having when I was ten years old. How did everything go from being so wrong to being so right? Sometimes I feel like I’m a princess, living my own kind of fairy tale.

“Hey, Star?” Tera called.

“Yes?”

“What do you think ever happened to Alex?”

I sat still for a moment, unprepared for her question. What had happened to him? Had he been in the rocket that exploded? Had he gotten into trouble for it exploding?

“I have no idea. He probably got fired or something. I mean, the rocket did explode, and I’m assuming he gave them the plans since he stole them. He probably got in trouble.”

 “Or… maybe something crazy happened to him. I found this leak when I was researching earlier about several Russian crewmembers that worked on the rocket going insane when it exploded. They were admitted into an asylum, where they are being told that the rocket explosion never even happened. Do you think that could be true?” Tera replied. Of course she would find a leak about Russians in asylums. Investigative journalists are so nosey.

“Tera, please leave it alone. He stole my plans. Who cares what happened to him?”

“Oh, I don’t care what happened to him, Star. Trust me. I’m just wondering how crazy those Russian spy men went on him when the rocket exploded. Maybe they went crazy enough that HE went crazy? Either way, he lost. His rocket sucked, and yours is amazing. He ended up alone, and I got you.” Tera said, wearing a huge smirk.

“You never lost me.” I said, staring into her eyes. I saw myself staring back. I looked exactly the same as I had a year ago, but the Luna I am now couldn’t be more different form the Luna I was then. My life has changed in so many ways. Tera got up and walked into the living room, straightening up the mess I’d left while working last night. We recently added a fireplace in there, and on the mantle over this fireplace sits the award Director Gooding gave me for my work on the rocket. This award is made of glass and shaped like “moon shoes.” Only I can appreciate how ironic this is, because no one but me knows that before there was ever a rocket, there was a set of plans entitled “Project Moon Shoes.”