Sunday, November 14, 2010

Chapter 13: Luna

I stood anchored to the floor, watching Alex walk down the hall after my coffee. The coffee that Tera could stil order for my by memory. It felt as if I had been standing there for an eternity when I heard a distant echo calling me back to reality. "It seems we have some catching up to do, Star." The sound of her voice uttering her nickname for me sent chills down my spine. I took another deep breath, knowing that turning around would mean that I would have to deal with my father and her both. Have to deal with the two people that I thought I would never see again.

"What?" I asked turning towards her slowly.

"I said we have some catching up to do."

She was right. We had not seen each other in well over a year, not since the day she cleared her desk out and walked out of our office. I still remember the words that spat out between tears and quivering sighs. "Luna, I know you want to go to the moon, but you are the only one here that wants to do that in practice, no just theory. Are you ok with that?" I remained silent. And then she broke down and tears flooded down her face. My reponse was to just stand there, firm in my spot with my desk in between us. "Well, if you are fine with it I hope that you are happy. But I dont want you to hate yourself later with regret from helping them lie." She turned and walked out without another word. My body swelled with reage. She was the leak! She was the one that was ruining my chances of ever actually getting to the moon!

But now, as I looked into Tera's eyes it didn't matter. I didn
t care that she leaked. That she left when I needed her to help me work through my plans and equations. That she just left me. Because she was here now, ready to hold my hand and calm my drunken father down.

"So I saw the video clip. I watched the "moon landing" alongside my mohter. She held my hand and kelpt squeezing it, like what we were watching was some horror movie. She gasped and jerked with every step, as if she thought at any moment aliens were doing to land and abduct the astronauts. She kept saying that you must have been so proud of yourself," Tera squeezes my arm after these words. Her mother was always more supportive of my work than any other adult in my life, and she didn't even understand what it was I did exactly.

"Well it was quite the achievement. I used a lot of your ideas for the texture of the moon. Did you notice?"

"Yeah I did. However, you are lucky that TV quality is still low, I coudl totally spot odd chunks missing in various places, and no, they coudl not pass as craters to the trained eye." I laughed at her critique, knowing how correct she was.

We sat there for a few moments in silence, each lost somewhere in thoughts orbiting around the moon. And NASA. Adn the day she left. Tera broke the silence by asking the looming question. The one that defined me and our relationship. "Have you made any headway? Have you found a way to the moon yet?"

"I am close. So close. But something still isn't right, the calculations are off somehow. I don't think that they are right yet. And it's been a lot harder to work lately. The director is constantly breathing down my neck. I am now in charge of stopping leaks you know. I have been given the task of controlling the media. And Alex is around more than my former office mate was. Oh, and I now have no one to bounce my ideas off of. And to top it all off, now this with my dad," I blurted out all the frustration that had been mounting for the past several months. The words flowed out of my mouth full of bitterness and resentment and contempt.

"I know. I am sorry I left you alone. I am sorry that I made things harder for you. I know they are only giving you this task because of me," I was shocked at the immediate apology and concern Tera showed. She did not try to reiterate her usual spill about the unethical practices of NASA or defend her own actions. Her response was instead pure understanding and compassion. Adn I could no longer control myself. I felt warm tears trickling down my cheeks and my whole body was shaking. Tera moved to my side and held me, rocking my body back and forth with hers.

"Ssshhh, ssshhh. Its ok, your fine. Just breathe." I turned my head towards hers to get a better look at her face and she immediately leaned into me. I felt her lips meet mine. Moist and soft. My tears stopped instantly. My mind went blank. I pulled back and starred at her face. It was a little expectant and nervous around the eyes. As if she was waiting for me to stomp away any moment.

Then Alex was at my side handing me coffee. And asking if I was ok. Telling me that he just remembered another photography job he took on in Alabama and how he had to leave. I blurted out words about how sorry I was that I had kept him out so late. That he should leave. And he leaned down and patted my shoulder then left.

I sat there lost between the kiss and Alex leaving. Alex leaving? Something was not clicking in myhead. Why would Alex have agreed to taking on another job in another state when he knew that he was supposed to be helping me cover up our conspiracy and stop leaks from our department.

"Luna, what's wrong?"

I looked at her slightly confused and shrugged, but really there was no use. I could not hide the fact that I was upset from her.

"It's just strange that Alex would take on another job now. I mean he knows how important it is to NASA that we get things covered up, and quickly. I didn't even know he was taking on side work. It's probably nothing; I just think that it is strange." Tera sat there in silence, her brow scowled.

"What Tera?"

"It' just bohters me that's all. It doesn't make sense, you're rght."

"Oh, Tera it's nothing I am sure. Alex is a really great guy."

"Really? What do you know about him?"

"Tera, stop." But she was right. What did I know about him? How did I let this happen to me? Why did I get caught up in the situation like this? Suddenly I could't look Tera in the face. I felt confused about her and Alex. And I knew that I would have to eventually address both, but first there was my newly handicapped father.

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